Wednesday, June 3, 2026

The Art of Listening in Motion:a rideshare story

 


The Art of Listening in Motion

Recently I found myself thinking about improv theatre while driving.

Not because I was on stage. But because every ride feels like a scene that has already started before I step into it.

Two passengers got into my car recently and said, almost casually, that they were musicians.

One of them said he was a composer. The other said he was a producer.

That alone could be a premise in an improv class: two musicians with different creative languages meet in a confined space and talk about identity, travel, and meaning.

One was from Sweden, the other from Philadelphia. They connected through Sweden immediately. Not just the place itself, but the idea of it—how small countries have tightly woven cultural ecosystems where music, TV, and comedy circulate quickly. One person knows someone who knows someone.

It reminded me of Minnesota in a strange way. The same quiet rule: you don’t just walk into people’s homes. You have to be known first.

That’s already a kind of social script. Not written, but deeply understood.

We drifted into music, comedy, favorite comedians, and people they’d met. One of them told a story about being in Central Park and meeting a comedian carrying soccer gear.

And I realized: this is improv too. Not on a stage, but in real time. People entering and exiting each other’s stories without rehearsal.

They were in town looking for a Best Buy, trying to find a specific cable for a keyboard. Something they couldn’t get shipped. A practical need pulling them through the city.

At one point I almost went with them, because I was also thinking about cables, connectors, small technical problems that feel oddly urgent in the moment.

That’s another thing about improv: you say yes to the reality in front of you, even if you don’t fully understand it yet.

But the deeper layer wasn’t the cable. It was the way the conversation kept forming invisible connections. I found myself trying to link people together—Sweden, a friend I know there, this passenger’s story, cultural overlap, coincidence. Like my mind was constantly building a web of possible intersections.

I think that’s what I’m really doing in these moments. Not just listening, but mapping relationships between people who will never meet again.

Earlier that day I had done an interview I felt good about. Later, I told passengers about it, and they asked how it went. There was something grounding about that—these brief strangers holding fragments of my day like it mattered.

Another ride took me through downtown Minneapolis with a woman trying to find an address among buildings that all looked the same. GPS looping. Phones confirming nothing. We circled back to where we started.

It felt like another kind of scene: repetition, confusion, search for orientation.

In the middle of it she talked about advocating for herself. Then admitted that she struggles with it too. Her twin, she said, is the one who can navigate the city easily.

There was something honest in the way she said it, like she was describing not just navigation, but confidence.

She also talked about her dogs—Chihuahuas she has to carry in a stroller because they refuse to walk.

At some point I called it a “mothering instinct.” She corrected me, gently, but the word stayed in the air anyway, like a line that reveals more than it means to.

That’s the thing about these rides. People reveal themselves in small, unplanned ways. Not in speeches, but in fragments. A story about a dog stroller. A joke about being lost. A casual mention of a twin who is better at life in some invisible way.

And I realize now that improv isn’t just about speaking without a script.

It’s about noticing what people are already saying when they think they’re just talking.

The heart of every scene is already there. You don’t create it—you listen for it.

And sometimes, driving through a city full of strangers, I think that might be the only real skill I’m practicing.

Not performing.

But staying present long enough to hear what the moment is actually trying to say.

Friday, May 15, 2026

The Price of Being in a Room:A rideshare story

 


Vision is a strange thing.

You don’t always realize what you’re seeing clearly and what you’re not until someone points it out.

That’s how the conversation started.

My rideshare client shared that she had just had cataract surgery and that one of her eyes still seemed like it was changing. The doctor said she might still need glasses.

At first, when they told her she had cataracts, her reaction was, “Oh no, I’m too young for cataracts.” “My dad had them.”

Then she started describing the surgery.

“They make a slit in your eyeball.”

“Oh my God.”

She laughs lightly.

“Don’t think about it. The procedure is very fast.”

Like that fixes it.

Then she mentioned that cataracts can come from something as simple as steroid use over time.

That lands.

I tell her I recently had a steroid injection in my neck, and I’ve had several orthopedic injections in my knee. My mind is already going—like maybe I need to slow down with that.

She says, “Yeah, I’ve had my share of things too.”

Then she says after her procedure, she had a chauffeur.

Then she asks me what I do.

And for some reason, I say:

“Yeah, I just go downstairs and usually the nurse is following me, and then when they exit, they keep reminding me about my chauffeur… and then I just start running away.”

There’s a pause.

“So you don’t meet anyone in the parking lot?”

“No.”

“So you basically drive yourself home?”

“Yes.”

And that’s when it hits me.

I am currently driving her.

Her life is in my hands.

So I backtrack.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“Oh no,” she says. “That’s fine.”

Which is what people say when they’re being polite.

I try to explain it.

“It’s just that I’m a single mom. I don’t really have that kind of support system.”

She understands.

Then the conversation shifts.

Not away—just sideways.

I tell her about a friend of mine who built schools in Africa. I met her through a writers group, one of those spaces where you don’t have to pay your way in, you just show up and write.

That connection led me into a completely different world.

The first time I visited her house, there was a pool in the basement. And she ordered DoorDash every day.

It’s one of those moments where you don’t immediately label it as wealth—you just realize you’re in a different version of normal.

She laughs when I say that. She gets it.

She tells me she’s had similar experiences—meeting people who live on completely different financial levels than she does.

Then she tells me about college.

“I had a roommate,” she says, “and she was cleaning the toilet with Windex. And she goes, ‘Am I doing this right? I’ve never cleaned a toilet before.’”

She laughs, but she’s impressed.

“She wasn’t used to it. But she was willing to learn.”

That sticks.

Not where someone comes from—but how they move when they’re somewhere new.

Before she gets out, she tells me she used to be a teacher.

“I can organize things,” she says. “Lesson plans, structure… but entrepreneurship? That feels like something other people do.”

I think about that for a second.

The “other people” line.

Then she asks me about writing. About comedy.

And when I tell her, she pauses.

“You remind me of Melissa Villaseñor,” she says. “You should follow her. The way you talk about it—it’s similar.”

I laugh a little because it catches me off guard.

Most of the time when I mention writing or comedy, it doesn’t land anywhere. It just passes through the conversation.

But this time it does.

Not as validation.

More like recognition.

She thanks me, gets out of the car, and closes the door.

And I sit there for a moment before driving off.

Thinking about how often people are moving through class without saying it out loud.

Not in big dramatic ways.

Just in small adjustments.

What you assume you can say yes to.

What you quietly calculate before you say no.

What you think you’re “supposed” to understand in a room.

And I realize the conversation in the car wasn’t really about cataracts or surgery or even health.

It was two women trying to figure out where they stand in the worlds they keep walking into.

One of us talking about school invitations and indoor parks and trying not to overthink the price of things.

The other talking about fundraisers where everything from fifty dollars to twenty thousand exists in the same room.

Both of us recognizing the same thing in different language.

That class isn’t something you declare.

It’s something you navigate.

Every day.

Sometimes while you’re driving.

Sunday, May 3, 2026

Sunday blog post

It was a week of rideshare driving, time at the indoor park (including a brief, slightly terrifying zipline moment), the Cinco de Mayo parade in Saint Paul right in my backyard, and seeing The Wizard of Oz

Cinco De Mayo parade 



Monday and Tuesday I drove rideshare and picked up several interesting people, including two IRS employees who were on the phone going back and forth with clients. Not arguing exactly, more like intense agreements. Very direct, very confident. Honestly a little intimidating, and it made me think about my own voice and how I sound in situations like that.

Midweek I went out and got materials for my son’s bicycle so he can ride better and more comfortably.

Random pic of Minnetonka treatment center .love Minnestonka (minnesota beautiful city)


Pics from moving around this week while driving UBER


My son zulfi petting Toto

A rainbow of post-it @childrens theater  kids things like “what is one fear you tackled?”

The view from my building in Spring


I also drove rideshare a few more times during the week—just being out there, listening, observing, having small moments with people.

Friday and Saturday we went to the indoor park, just letting him play and move around.I got harnessed for the indoor zipline,honestly it was scary and I kept meeting up with a little girl who kept zipping around me ,luckily I’m 4”6 or I don’t know how I’d do it. 

On Saturday,the parade was busy and fun as well living so close makes it for encompassing.

Last Saturday we went to see The Wizard of Oz with the children’s theater .

That was the week. Just a series of things that happened,some small and some very memorable grateful for momentum..

Saturday, May 2, 2026

Uber Stories — April 15: My Neighbor, His Uncle, and What Gratitude Sounds Like

 I picked up a passenger while driving rideshare, and he turned out to be from my building since I was parked outside waiting for a ride.

We ended up talking about his uncle a lot. He said his uncle does a little bit of everything, wearing a lot of hats, working in real estate down in California, doing some TV reporting on the side, and juggling other gigs. It wasn’t just a job description—it came out like he was trying to map a whole personality through work, like that’s how you explain who someone is.

He said his uncle has kind of been a big influence on him. At one point, he kind of skimmed over it, like, “yeah, we were in shelters and different homes for a while.” He didn’t sit in it, just stated it and kept going, like it was something that already belonged in the past tense.

And he kept coming back to that idea. He even said he wrote his college essay at Saint Paul Tech about his uncle and how proud he was of him, and how grateful he is that college gave him the opportunity to put that into words and really reflect on it.

Now his uncle is doing well, even supporting him through college. And he kept coming back to that idea—how aware he is of it, how he doesn’t want to take that opportunity lightly or use it in the wrong way. It wasn’t performative, it was more like he was reminding himself out loud. Like gratitude as a way of staying oriented.

He also made a comment about how a lot of people my age tend to take things for granted, like they’re owed something. He said, “kids these days just think things are supposed to be handed to them,” and the way he said it wasn’t angry exactly, more like he’d noticed a pattern and decided it was true. Like there’s less appreciation for what people had to go through to get there.

And I told him, I used to have a millionaire friend too, but we’re not friends anymore. It’s something about them—these millionaires are just very direct, like they’ve lived in that world so long they act like they can tell anyone what to do, and nobody really questions it.

And he nodded at that, like he recognized it immediately, and said his uncle was the same way—just used to having that kind of control and presence in situations, like confidence had become a default setting rather than something they turned on

Tsunami:a rideshare story

 I picked up my Uber passenger near Lake Minnetonka, the kind of place where the houses sit so close to the water it almost feels like you’re on an island.

Right before I picked her up, I had been driving another passenger around this same lake.

Looking out at the water, pointing at houses, imagining a different life.

“Yeah, I’d live there.”
“Oh that one? I’d be down by the water every single day.”
“I’d get a dog just so I could walk it along the shore.”
“I’d have a boat. Not even for anything important—just vibes.”

And then, out of nowhere, they said:

“My worst nightmare is getting hit by a tsunami. Like imagine if one of those buildings fell and just—boom—wave comes right at you.”

I laughed at the time. It sounded dramatic. Almost like a movie.

But the image stayed with me.


My next client got in.

She told me she was originally from Japan, living in Minnesota now.

We started talking about why she moved.

“I came here for work,” she said.

“And you like it?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “My favorite part is the four seasons.”

I laughed a little.

“Really? Why would anyone want to live in Minnesota?”

She smiled. “Why?”

“Because of the weather,” I said. “It’s cold like six months out of the year. I’ve lived here my whole life—I’m kind of over it.”

She laughed at that, like she understood both sides of it.


We were driving along the water again, the same stretch, the same houses.

So I brought it up.

“You know, right before I picked you up, someone was talking about tsunamis,” I said.
“They were saying like, what if one of these buildings fell into the water and caused a wave.”

She paused.

“That’s strange,” she said.
“I actually had a dream about a tsunami recently. Back in Japan.”

I caught her eyes in the rearview mirror.

She nodded.

“Yeah. It felt very real.”

Then she let out a small, almost surprised laugh.

“And now you’re telling me someone was talking about that today…”

“I know,” I said. “They were pretty convinced it could happen here.”

That’s when she shook her head, more certain this time.

“No,” she said.
“That wouldn’t happen.”

“That wouldn’t?”

She smiled slightly.

“No. I used to live in Japan. A building falling into a river wouldn’t cause a tsunami.”

She wasn’t dismissive. Just… sure.

Then she looked back out at the water.

“My parents live on a hill in Japan,” she said.
“So they’re safe.”

A pause.

“…but if something bigger came… higher than expected…”

She didn’t finish the sentence.

She didn’t have to.


It made me think about how the passenger I had just dropped off had been sitting in this same seat, looking out at this same water, talking about their fear of a tsunami—and now she was responding to it without even knowing that conversation had already happened. They were almost talking to each other through me. I like moments like that, when one ride carries into the next and people end up connected without realizing it.

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