A Great Powder Day:Life is Good

   
A Story called The Ugly Sweater Contest Brought No Warmth or Cheer.


The ugly sweater contest brought no warmth or cheer.  In fact it brought bigger uglies in even bigger ugly sweaters. 

"Why you wear that sweater man?" 

It said, I can't breath all over it, a red turtleneck sweater sinching at the neck.  Too tight for his breathing tube so Tommy Tucker shot a spit ball straight through it, bought the guy some breathing time while Cindy Lou was putting up the Christmas tree.  
"Hand me that skirt, would ya?"  

Why they call it a skirt anyway? Jonathon thinks. Do trees need skirts too?  Are they masquerading for some late night tree fella to take them to the ball; maybe abominable snowman-Would he be wearing a skirt too?  Or maybe he'd be wearing a kilt, a Monsters Inc sorta fella-ready to carry the tree skirt lady away.  But what would they do together late at night?  The bristles of the tree coming in for a late night smooch and the abominable snowman gets pissed.  Tells the tree, he's had it.  His five o'clock shadow was one thing but to be kissed by an overgrown tree was another.